I'm in need of a new dream

I realised today that I haven't dreamed for a while now.

My dream use to be to work in radio for the BBC. Having done that, all be it as a writer rather than a presenter, and it not being to me what I thought it was I feel at a loss.

I wouldn't want to work for the BBC not anymore. For a variety of reasons I suppose, but mainly because they tell you what to write about and how to write it. There are so many legal obligations that any creativity is lost.

It is the same with the radio and television presenters, they are just channels for information.

Trained as a Fine Artist I made sound recordings, video and live performances. I know that I love music and playing my guitar gives me a lift, it is almost a sublime experience.

Today, I am also aware of my high expectations of myself. How I have driven myself to succeed in the past for fear of lots of things, rejection, face, loss in general.

I need to counter those expectations so that I live with less stress and more enjoyment. Having been duped by the mind into thinking that media is the place for me in the past, how do I know when a dream is from the heart rather than driven by the mind and it's foibles?

Maybe I will go out and buy a dream catcher!!!

So what is your dream? Does it come from the head or the heart?